Avatar: Unscripted
by Zuko Gets Crunk
Summary: Bryan and Mike have a cool idea for a new TV show called Avatar. But something goes wrong and the characters they created start showing up in the real world! Can they contain them and keep them from killing each other long enough to put on a cartoon show?
1. Introduction

Okay, so... somehow our story got deleted. (shrug) It made us sad. So here it is again!

* * *

**Title:** Avatar: Unscripted

**Rating: **T for totally wicked awesome.

**Genre: **Humor

**Summary: **Mike and Bryan have a cool idea for a cartoon series called Avatar. But something goes horribly wrong and all of the characters they created start showing up in the real world with them! They have to contain all the craziness and conduct the TV series without any serious injury or damage. Can they do it?

**Notes:**

Hi, we're Yung Keylay and Sistah Kels. And we're not Avatards. I mean, geesh, we refuse to call ourselves that. How about Avaturds?

Back on subject, this is our first Avatar story.

It may seem kind of weird, but it's kind of supposed to be like that.

Consider it a behind-the-scenes glance at the series, almost like the characters are actors. All will become much clearer in later chapters.

Enjoy and review.

* * *

_Introduction_

"Okay, here's my idea: There's an air guy along with these water people trapped in a snowy wasteland... and maybe some fire people are pressing down on them..." Bryan Konietzko and Mike Dante DiMartino were sitting around casually tossing about ideas for their new cartoon series… Avatar: the Last Airbender.

Or was it going to be Zuko: the Last Firebender?

They weren't sure of much yet.

"Air guy? Elaborate."

"Well, originally it was going to be a balding middle-aged man, but we're working with a younger demographic… so I think it should be a kid, so children watching it can relate more to the character."

"So… a kid?"

"Yeah, maybe twelve or thirteen years old."

"But I still want him to be bald."

"Um… a bald kid?"

"Whatever. Work with me here, maybe he could grow hair later. But then he's got to shave it off, because I seriously think he should be bald."

"Yeah… that's not _weird_." Came the sarcastic reply.

"Shut up! He's going to be an air guy, so he's got to be aerodynamic!"

"Wait, maybe you're on to something… aerodynamic… aero…arrow… he should have an ARROW on his head!"

"What?"

"And let's not stop there! He should have funny blue arrow marks all over him! It can be what makes him distinguishable!"

"All over him? That's kind of strange, don't you think?"

"Maybe it's an air guy thing! Isn't he going to be the only air guy…? Like, that's where the_ last _airbender thing comes in, right?"

"Okay, sure. How about his entire people, the airbenders were wiped out by the evil fire guys?"

"Fine. Sounds alright to me."

"Alright, now about the water people…should they be mermaids? And I think there should be a brother and a sister. One can be a comic relief character and the other can end up as the air dude's love interest. Sound good?"

"Sure! But not the mermaids part."

"What else about them?"

"They lost their mother to the fire guys. The sister can be especially vehement about this. And she can be… like the Avatar but she fights with water."

"What about the brother?"

"He should be the funny one. And no water powers for him. Maybe he should carry a gun?"

"A gun? That doesn't feel right. He's a comic relief character, remember? I don't think parents want their kids watching a show with some kid laughing and joking about shooting people."

"Okay, so a sword?"

"Yeah… but what about a boomerang? That would be potentially hilarious, but then again, cool."

"Sword's better!"

"No, a boomerang is way better."

"SWORD!"

"BOOMERANG!"

"SWORD!!"

"BOOMERANG!"

"Ok fine, how about this: he could have a boomerang first, and then get a sword later."

"Alright…"

"Okay, what are these kid's names?"

"I think the air dude should be named… Stanley."

"Um… that's dumb. I think it should start with an A, since he's an air guy. How about Adam?"

"Nahhh…. dang it, I got nothing."

"Wait… _dang…_but take off the D and it's Ang!"

"Add another A. So it looks cooler."

"Aang?"  
"Whatever. I don't really care. They're all going to have weird names anyway."

"What about the water girl?"

"Does she have to start with a W, because she's water?"

"Maybe. It should be an exotic name… like… Watara."

"That sounds like a wristwatch brand. How about Batara?"

"That would be Batman's girlfriend."

"_Fiiiine._ Um… Katara?"

"Sure. Sounds almost normal, like Katrina or something."

"And the brother?"

"We should name him after something weird and funny. Like a shoe. He can be… Shoekee."

"Or how about a sock? Like… Socky? Or Socko? SOKKA!"

"That's good. His girlfriend can be Shoekee."

"That's just overly dumb. A sock and a shoe? Just make it Suki."

"That sounds like Suzuki."

"Deal with it; I like it!"

"Ok, but wait, a comic relief character gets a girlfriend?"

"She likes corny jokes and stuff."

"Whatever. Okay, weren't we going to make an earth girl?"

"Yeah, we've discussed this. She's blind, she sees things by feeling vibrations in the earth through her feet. We're going to make her kickass… I mean, kickbutt."

"Geesh, man, this is going to be TV Y7."

"Gotcha. Sorry, honest mistake."

"Okay, last thing we gotta discuss: the antagonist… Mr. Emo Fire Pants."

"You mean, Prince Zuko?"

"Nah, I mean Mr. Emo Fire Pants."

"I thought we agreed we weren't going to name him that!"

"Yeah… sorry, I forgot. Fire Prince Emo Zuko."

"_JUST_ ZUKO!"

"This kid is going to be messed up, I mean not just emotionally… like, scarred for life."

"Like Harry Potter?"

"Yeah, only not with a lightning bolt on his forehead. That seems… stupid."

"Okay, but can he have a scar?"

"Sure, why?"

"His daddy hit him."

"WAIT! I got it, his father, Fire Lord Ozai, the evil one… he challenged him to a duel for his honor or something and slapped him with a fiery hand!"

"Um… okay, WHY would a father challenge his kid to a duel?"

"Uh… maybe Zuko was being a smart aleck, I don't know. He back-sassed him. Spoke out of turn. Didn't do the dishes, I don't know!"

"That seems a little extreme."

"He's evil."

"Point taken."

"So the scar…?"

"On his eye… like… over one half of the top of his face. That way his face is REALLY recognizable. And I know! Hunting down the Avatar can be what it takes to win his father's affection again. He can be like the outlaw prince, banished from his nation."

"COOL!"

Suddenly, Bryan and Mike heard a loud clang in the kitchen.

"What was that?"

"I don't know…"

The two men went to investigate. They rounded the corner and peered into the kitchen area, looking around for the source of the noise.

They promptly gasped as they saw a young child spinning around the kitchen on a ball of air, knocking precious china onto the floor.

"What the…?"

"Wait, man… check out his head."

"His head?"

Sure enough, the kid had a blue arrow on his head. He smiled brightly. "That's strange… how did I end up here? Appa??"

"Dude…" Mike said to Bryan, freaked out.

"I know, man."

There was a low growling noise and a crash. The house shook and Mike and Bryan quickly grabbed the nearest stationery object and caught their footing. A car alarm blared outside as Appa landed.

"APPA! Be careful, boy." The kid scolded his... giant flying bison.

"Um… Stanley?"

The air guy looked confused. "Um, hi. I'm Aang. I'm an Airbender!!"

Bryan looked at Mike. "Are we being Punk'd?"

Mike peered around suspiciously. "If I see Ashton Kutcher jump out from behind anything, I swear…" He grabbed Aang's staff from his hand.

"Hey…" Aang mumbled. "I need that to practice for when I gotta defeat the Fire Lord and save the town and Mr. Krabs! I mean… _the WORLD!"_

Bryan's mouth was hanging slack. "What the HECK is going on here?"

After he said this, an object flew past his head very quickly, with a whizzing sound.

"Haha, I told you that you couldn't hit that guy's head, Sokka!" Came a feminine voice, ringing in triumph.

"Well… maybe I didn't want to, alright, Katara? GEEZ!"

"Suuureee."

Another girl's voice floated to their ears as three teens came into vision, the boy catching a boomerang as it came back full circle. "Hey, don't be so hard on the guy, I think he's rather cute."

"Awww… Suki!" The boy blushed.

Aang laughed and pointed to Mike and Bryan. "Sokka, Katara, Suki… meet… um, what were you guys' names?"

"I'm… Mike." Mike croaked. "And he's… Bryan."

"Hi!" The characters of their imagination chorused.

"And this is Toph!" Aang added as the blind bender burst up through the floor.

"Sorry about that." She muttered apologetically.

"I just put in that tile!" Bryan whispered mournfully.

"Wait… these are all the characters we discussed today." Mike suddenly announced. "Where are all the others? Never mind that, why the heck are they even here to begin with?"

"It doesn't matter, dude. Because they _are here. _Why doesn't matter."

"We're here to do the show!" Sokka told them truthfully. "We're ready!"

"Wait... what about all the other characters we created?" Bryan asked.

"I'm sure they'll turn up sooner or later..." This was punctuated with a groan from Mike as he continued, "And...um… does this normally happen when people get creative and try to make a cartoon show?"

"If so… I feel sorry for poor Walt Disney." Bryan replied.

"No wonder Disney has that giant castle." Mike mused.

"Okay, okay, FOCUS! What are we going to do?" Bryan began frantically.

"AIR SHIP SLICE!" Sokka screamed suddenly. "I mean… uh….?"

"The show must go on, man. We gotta figure this out." Mike answered, ignoring Sokka.

"We can't have them just wander around shooting air, water, dirt… and fire around… WAIT!" Bryan stopped mid-thought.

"What?" Mike asked.

"FIRE!" Bryan shouted loudly.

"Where? Call 911!" Mike yelled.

"No, I mean… where are the fire guys? Zuko and Fire Lord O-…OH MY GOSH!" Bryan fell to the floor with a thud.

A crash. Outside air poured in as a small hole was blasted through the ceiling. Debris fell everywhere.

"I thought we agreed his name was OZAI!" Mike screamed, annoyed, over the sound.

"I AM THE PHOENIX KING!" They heard as the roof caved in and Ozai appeared, spewing fire from just about every surface on his body. "I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!"

"Holy crap." Bryan mouthed.

"IT'S THE FIRE LORD!" Sokka yelled. "GO AANG! AIRBENDING SLICE!"

"Wait…" Aang said, panicking. "I only know airbending, what about the other elements?"

There was a moment of pure silence... then, chaos erupted.

Mike and Bryan were flabbergasted, staring at the spectacle.

Aang was running around in circles.

Everyone else was screaming, "GO AANG! GET HIM! WHOOP HIS FIREBENDING BUTT!"

Ozai was… lighting everything in Bryan's house on fire.

"Mike…" Bryan mumbled sadly. "You can call 911 now."

"NO!" Mike said. "Are you crazy? Firefighters will come rushing in here, see all these characters and run away, pooping their pants! This is a nightmare!"

Katara began to put out the flames with waterbending. "Here, I'll help… we're really sorry about this… we're only here to do the show and stuff… we didn't mean any harm… and we certainly don't want to cause any public servants to poop in their pants."

"It's okay…" Bryan rubbed his forehead, almost laughing dryly. "It's not weird, strange or frightening at all." He added sarcastically.

"Hey… what about…?" Mike started to say, but was cut off by the doorbell ringing.

"I'LL GET IT!" Aang shrieked, rushing toward the door.

"No, wait!" And Bryan started for the door, wrenching it open.

There stood a tall, astonishingly emo-looking teenager, rubbing his neck awkwardly and clearing his throat. "Um… hey. Zuko here."

"… Zuko?" Mike finished halfheartedly. "Neeeever mind."

Zuko looked at Bryan and then at Aang. "Wait… the Avatar?!" He lunged toward Aang, laughing evilly.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Aang screamed, and he skirted away from Zuko deftly.

Zuko pouted, taking a step forward. "I'll get you! HEY DADDDDDYYY!" He whined to Ozai, who was currently chasing Bryan's cat Fluffernutter, fists blazing.

"WHAT YOU STUPID INSIGNIFICANT SON I NEVER WANTED?"

"I'm about to make you love me!!" Zuko started to firebend the crap out of Aang, running after him up and down the staircase. The carpeting on the steps caught on fire, adding to the inferno.

"Oops. My bad." Zuko told them quickly. The emo fire kid attempting to grin in an apologetic manner and failed miserably.

"Oooh. You're hot!" Katara exclaimed to the Fire Prince, earning a jealous look from Aang as Zuko dove to try and catch him.

"Did I say you could speak to me, you filthy waterbending peasant? I ought to singe every hair on your head for even looking at me!" Zuko growled menacingly.

Katara jumped, but still swooned at him. "Oh wow..." She muttered dreamily.

"But you're right you know. " He added nonchalantly. "I am pretty hot." He adjusted his emo bangs and made another jump toward Aang, swiping out with his arms as fire burst from his palms.

"There you are you cute fuzzy little creature!" Ozai screamed happily, picking up Fluffernutter. "NOW...! I just wanted to pet you." He said calmly, stroking his fur lovingly.

_Woosh! _The cat burst into flames.

"MEEEEEEEEOW!" But before any real damage could be done, Katara ran over and waterbended the cat to safety.

"Oh man... did I hurt the kitty?" Ozai asked innocently. "Here, let me try to pet him again... I'll be gentle this time..."

"NO!" Katara screamed protectively, lacing her arms around Fluffernutter.

Mike and Bryan looked each other and sighed.

* * *

Crazy enough for you?

Oh and about the cat. We love kitties, okay? That's why Katara saved Fluffernutter. :) We'd never firebend a cat and let it be burned like that... that's awful. :(

ANYWAY.

Thanks for reading. We hope you liked it. Let us know if you did.

Please don't flame us. You can't even pretend to be a firebender, sorry. So put the flames away.

(Chapter 1 is coming soon... )


	2. Chapter 1

Thank you to our reviewers so far.

This chapter's funnier than the intro. At least we hope so.

Disclaimer: (for whole story) We don't own Avatar. Or Wal-Mart. :) And also some credit goes to Dane Cook, who did his best and gave us inspiration for a firefighter-related remark in this chapter.

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_Chapter 1_

"Okay, children." Bryan said authoritatively. "This is how it's going to work."

He and Mike had managed to gather up all of the characters they made up for their show, for the most part unscathed and line them up in one horizontal line, extending almost all the way through the studio's large outdoor area.

"You answer to us." Mike put in. "If this show is to become a success and you are to get thousands of dollars in salary money, you have to cooperate."

"You must agree to the terms we set for you." Bryan instructed.

"You guys are not permitted under any circumstance to wander around the city unsupervised without our knowledge because, guess what? You're going to stick out like a sore thumb!"

"Which means, no bending outside of rehearsals and actual episode airings. Got it?" Bryan added quickly.

"WHAT? NO BENDING??" Azula screamed manically. "If we can't bend, what are we supposed to do for fun?"

"You may bend on the studio property away from public eye." Mike told her, and she smiled evilly.

"You mean we have to just stay here forever?" Aang asked stupidly.

"If you go out into the city, you must use props and disguises to blend in." Bryan told the airbender.

Mike jumped in swiftly to add, "We've already picked out some earthly clothes and things for some of you. You'll find them inside your trailers."

He gestured behind them, where the extensive grassy area opened up into a clearing full of trailers. On each door, a character's name was printed in gold embossed letters.

"SWEET!" Sokka yelled.

"For those of you who don't have disguises yet, we need to go shopping."

"YAY SHOPPING!" Screamed Katara, Suki, Ty Lee, and Aang.

"OOOOH MANNNN I HATE MY LIFE!" Screamed Zuko.

"Now, nephew, life in itself is something you must always treasure, like a good cup of tea." Iroh instructed him.

"But, Uncle! SHOPPING!!" Zuko whined.

"Anyway, there are some exceptions. Appa, you have to stay in the garage. Unfortunately you aren't in an way easy to hide. And Ozai, you are dangerous, so you gotta live in the basement in between episodes."

Ozai whimpered in fear. "I'm afraid of the dark!"

"You can light some candles down there. And we'll let you have daily visits from Fluffernutter, as long as you don't burn him again. He's hairless now. And he's mortified."

"I DIDN'T MEAN TOOOOO!" Ozai wailed.

"It's okay. He's not hurt. He's just bald."

"Nothing wrong with that." Aang put in.

"You're getting hair later in the show, Aang." Mike told him.

"Nuh-uh, really? WOW!"

"Yeah but you're going to shave it off real quick."

"Awwww." Aang snapped his fingers.

"Alright!" Bryan shouted, withdrawing a list. "The following people must go to Wal-Mart. We'll be providing you each with two hundred dollars to spend wisely on worldly clothes and everyday provisions." He cleared his throat. "Aang, Katara, Toph, Sokka, and Zuko."

"Well, poop!" Zuko cussed as best as he could in a TV Y7 format.

"Ok, if we called your name, we're going to drop you off at Wal-Mart. Try and get your things as fast as possible without getting too many strange looks, okay?" Mike directed.

"The rest of you… to your trailers! Go and practice your lines for the first episode!" Bryan called.

Everyone else shuffled away, mumbling.

The remaining characters stood there in a mixture of joy, confusion, and anger.

"What's Wal-Mart?" Aang asked.

"It's a store, dummy." Katara told him.

"How do you know?"

"I'M A GIRL!!"

"Really?" Aang asked.

Meanwhile Zuko edged stealthily away from the group. "Well, see you all later, have fun, okay?"

Bryan grabbed his arm and dragged him toward a large minivan. "Come on, Pouty Pants, you're coming too."

"POUTY PANTS??"

The other characters followed.

* * *

The store towered above them. Our little Avatar friends stared at it, frightened and dubious.

"Okay, guys!" Mike called out after he'd handed out their cash. "We'll come back at two o'clock sharp. We expect you all to be on your best behavior!"

Bryan started to pull away. "Bye guys!"

"Bryan?" Mike asked. "This is a bad idea."

Bryan shrugged. "Oh well, it wouldn't be our first bad idea."

"Yeah, I mean who the heck would want to watch a show like Avatar? That's so freaking dumb!"

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

* * *

_AANG_

_Getting into the store was easy enough, the doors magically whisked opened and I didn't even have to airbend them! Not that I could with that list of rules Bryan and Mike made up for us. _Aang thought as he wandered around. _That greeter person was way too overly happy. And I think she really made Zuko mad. Not that Zuko's ever not mad._

Aang smiled nervously as he followed Sokka and Zuko to the section labeled "MENS".

Once there, Sokka and Zuko split up and began to examine the peculiar clothes hanging on the racks. They left a bewildered Aang in a sea of clothing that looked too big.

He sighed. "I guess I'd better find the little boys section."

He quickly located the clothes for younger boys and started to pick out random things. He stole into the fitting room, astonished to find that even the smallest sizes were too large on him.

"What the heck?" Aang yelled, slapping his forehead. "I'm buff! I know I am!"

Just then a very muscular kid who looked to be about four years old walked by, and seeing Aang examining himself outside the stall in the full-length mirror, he scoffed. "What in the blazes are you talkin' 'bout boy?" He asked in a voice that was much too low.

Aang, shivers going down his spine, replied shakily, "Uhhh…"

"Never mind." He laughed deeply and strutted away.

Aang sighed heavily and retreated back into the dressing stall. A few minutes later, he abandoned the too-big clothing and with another dejected sigh, told himself. "Well… only one thing left to do."

He sadly grabbed a wig out of one of the bargain buckets to hide his arrow and then shuffled to the little girls section, horrified and embarrassed.

* * *

_TOPH_

_Darn it all! Darn it all to heck! I can't believe I have to carry a freakin' cane around and act like I can't see through my feet! I hate having to bump into something a little every few minutes to make it convincing. This is going to take some SERIOUS getting used to. _Toph thought angrily.

She followed Katara to the womens section, purposely lagging. "Katara! I think I'll be a size small!"

"Me too." Katara chimed from ahead, already shifting through racks of clothing.

Toph reached the section and pretended to be interested in a rather frilly looking green blouse. Just then, a little boy in a strange uniform approached her.

"Excuse me, ma'am, would you like some help?"

"No, I'm fine." Toph growled through her teeth.

"But I'm a Boy Scout. I'll earn a badge for helping you out."

"I don't need some little brat's assistance. I can manage just fine on my own."

"But please! I really want to earn this badge! And I can help you out a lot!"

"GO AWAY!"

"But… no… I…."

"PLEASE, LEAVE ME THE HECK ALONE!"

"Ma'am… I…"

"LISTEN, KID! IF YOU DON'T GET AWAY FROM ME THIS INSTANT, I SWEAR ON THE CROWN OF KING BUMI THAT YOUR MOTHER WILL CRY WHEN SHE SEES WHAT I'VE DONE TO YOU! I WON'T HESITATE BECAUSE YOU'RE SMALL AND ADORABLE, I'LL SHOVE THIS WHOLE CANE UP YOUR…"

The kid ran away, bawling.

"FINALLY!" Toph sighed.

* * *

_SOKKA_

_What do super fly boys from earth wear? _Sokka wondered, staring around at all the clothes. Zuko had disappeared into the large mass of fabrics and Sokka had no idea what to pick out.

_What do the earth chicks dig?_

_How can I keep my reputation?_

He sighed, walking aimlessly through the store. _I gotta get a hold of myself! I can't lose my cool, here!_

Looking around, he realized he'd wandered out of the clothes section and into the Toys and Children's areas.

Sighing, he started to walk back, hopelessly unsure of what to wear.

"Oof!" He bumped into a small child. "Hey, sorry, kid… I…"

"ENGARDE!" The kid screeched, grabbing a strange bright colored sword from the shelf nearby and pointing it at Sokka's face.

Though Sokka regarded the weird weapon as a dumb threat, he stepped back. The kid waved the cylinder at him, it's long red blade nearly bonking his nose.

"HEY!" Sokka shouted, withdrawing his sword.

The kid's eyes widened, but he swung for Sokka.

In one swift move, Sokka sliced the tip of the sword off, realizing now that it was not only hollow, but plastic.

The kid gasped, staring down at the ruined toy. "YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT, DUMBHEAD!"

And he ran away, so as to appear innocent.

Sokka grabbed the toy and stuffed it behind a pink box containing an overly smiley blonde doll. _No one has to know about this…_

He turned away quickly.

Then, he came face-to-face with a giant poster of a man hovering in midair on a strange board with wheels.

"He looks… cool." Sokka muttered, face lighting up.

Two teenage girls walked by, eyeing the poster mid-conversation.

"He's so hot!" One girl exclaimed.

"Oh yeah!"

Sokka smiled as the girls walked away. He came closer when they were far away, smiling ear-to-ear.

He knew just what to wear now.

* * *

_KATARA_

_This is cute! _Katara thought, picking up a denim miniskirt. _Earth girls have great fashion sense. _She grabbed a studded belt and a sequined purse as well. _And they really know how to accessorize!_

She studied the remainder of the store, arms laden with clothing. "There's one more place I really should look." She said to herself.

She began to walk toward the lingerie and underwear section, following the large glowing letters and signs.

She stopped at a cash register to pay for her clothes she'd already picked out, and then put them on the dressing room, stowing her Water Tribe garments in her new sequined bag.

Finger-combing her hair quickly and then stepping out of the stall, she waltzed in a way she thought was especially sexy down the aisles of the store, flaunting her new purchases.

She passed the cosmetics section, scoffing a bit. _I'm too hot already. Add makeup and the earth guys might just swoon to the point of madness._

A thought occurred to her then. _And Zuko… what would he do?_

She began to inspect the eye shadows and lip glosses thoughtfully, debating whether or not to buy some.

She looked to her right to refer to the color guide, searching for the best blush for her skin type. But instead, her eyes fell upon a vivacious-looking girl with blonde hair and overdone makeup, who was staring dreamily at someone or something across the aisleway. Curious, Katara leaned over.

Fury built up inside her as her eyes floated over to the guys section, falling upon Zuko, the object of the blonde girl's affection and attention.

Clicking her teeth angrily, she threw down the pink lip gloss she'd picked up and stomped over to the girl.

"Hey you!"

She turned around and snapped her gum boredly. "What do you want?"

"I want you to get your eye shadow sopping eyes off of him right this second!"

"Or what?"

"Listen, you… he's mine!"

She leaned over as Zuko moved to another rack. "Oh really? Is he your BF or something?"

"BF?" Katara questioned, raising an eyebrow.

The blond girl gave her a look as if she were the stupidest thing on the planet. "Yeah, BF. As in… boyfriend?"

"OH! Well, yeah… I mean no… maybe…." Katara muttered, face reddening as she thought of the crush she knew Aang had on her.

"Oh well, if not… he's quite a hottie." The girl murmured, staring.

"HE IS! HE IS MY BOYFRIEND!" Katara hissed quickly.

The girl looked like she didn't believe her. "Are you sure about that?"

"YES!!" Katara screamed angrily.

At the sound of Katara's shouting, Zuko looked up. "OH CRAP!" He squealed, "SHE FOUND ME!! AAAAAAAH!" And he ran away screaming bloody murder.

The girl, hands on her hips, turned to Katara. "Nice going, you scared him away. You're a creep… he's not your boyfriend!"

"Yes he is!" Katara insisted. "We were um… playing hide-and-seek?" She said lamely.

"Whatever." The girl stalked after Zuko.

"GGGRRAAAGH!" Katara yelled in frustration, following her in quick strides, and forgetting all about the lip gloss.

* * *

_ZUKO_

_I found the emo clothes section. _He thought triumphantly. _That goth kid with the fifty tattoos gives really bad directions._

He looked around quickly to make sure Katara and that random blonde girl hadn't found him yet, and then turned to the clothes racks, eyeing all of the choices. _Hmmm…_

His stomach growled, and he sighed. Grabbing some clothes that satisfied him, he went to purchase them and then hurriedly put them on in the fitting room.

Reemerging, he smoothed his new clothes and adjusted his bangs so that they covered his scar.

Then, he began to hunt for a vending machine or a food area.

He found a vending machine first, and stood there for a good five minutes, examining all of the unfamiliar earth snacks dubiously. He finally settled on the "Blazin' Hot Spicy Chips" and inserted some of his change leftover from his clothes purchase.

He ripped open the bag and shoved a handful of the chips in his mouth.

Chewing, he frowned.

"WHAT THE HECK? THESE ARE ABOUT AS HOT AS KATARA!" He glared at the chips. "These earth people wouldn't know hot if it burnt them in the butt."

Glancing around to make sure no one saw, he sneakily produced some fire and lit the snack ablaze.

Then, he tried it again.

Munching, his eyes glowed angrily. "STILL NOT HOT ENOUGH!"

Fire burst from his hands as his anger went unchecked.

Quickly, he looked around to make sure none of the customers saw that happen and sighed in relief when he saw no one around. He turned back to the vending machine…

… to find that it was engulfed in red flames.

"OH DANG." He cursed.

"S-S-Sir?" A shaky little voice said and Zuko whirled around to face a small child, who was clutching a Transformers action figure.

Zuko glared down at the boy as he eyed the formidable emo kid before him and the flaming snack machine.

"I…" He started, frightened, needing a new pair of underwear. "ALL I WANTED WAS SOME CHEETOS!"

He ran away screaming, "MOMMY! MOMMY! FIRE! FIRE!"

Zuko stood there, looking at the growing flames for a few minutes. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNCLE IROH ARE CHEETOS?" He wondered aloud.

Then ignoring the fire as it ate up the surrounding floor and wall, he stalked off to look at something else.

Wandering, he looked up at the ceiling as an alarm blared and sprinklers began to douse the store.

He just continued to walk, letting the water soak his hair so it fell more over his eyes.

A flash of yellow overpowered him and suddenly there was that random blonde girl in front of him.

"Hey, cutie… we'd better get out, I think there's a fire!"

"Yes… there is." Zuko stated boredly. "What's your point?"

"Want to grab a bite to eat or something? Starbucks?" The girl asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

He nearly puked, privately wondering what the hell a Starbuck was.

"Um… no."

"Kay, later then? Want my number? We can go out later tonight!"

Zuko sighed and pulled out a black leather planner, flipping to a page and reading his plans. "I have a pretty busy schedule, you see… and I don't have much room for adjustment. Especially not for ugly chicks like you, I mean… I have priorities…" He began to read. "When I get home, I have to massage my Uncle's diseased feet… then at 3:30 – Stare at the wall and think dark thoughts. 4:30- Take nap. Cry in sleep because Daddy hates me. 5:00 – Jazzercise. 6:30 – Dinner with me… I can't cancel that again! 7:00 – Color an entire piece of white paper with a black Sharpie. 8:00 – Hunt for the Avatar and kick his skinny butt. 9:00- Ponder life and why it is so cruel. 9:30- Think about my place in the universe. 10:30 – Me and Mai…" He trailed off, remembering that he was supposed to be always in TV Y7 format.

The girl was grimacing. "Um… ok. Never mind then."

She ran off, as everyone began to evacuate the store.

Zuko shrugged. "Whatever. Suit yourself."

He turned, secretly relieved, then screamed as he came face to face with Katara.

"Hey Zuzu…" She cooed.

"Only my sister calls me that."

"Oh, well… hey look! It's Gerard Way!"

"WHERE?" Zuko screamed, whirling around. "I NEED TO ASK WHAT HAIR PRODUCT AND BRAND OF MASCARA HE USES!"

_THUD._

A fire extinguisher went down on Zuko's head, hard.

Katara smiled in satisfaction when he sunk to the floor.

Rubbing her hands together, she grabbed his legs and began to drag him through the almost barren aisles.

* * *

_STILL ZUKO… UNFORTUNATELY._

Zuko woke up with a splitting headache. He shot up, confused. _WHERE AM I??_

"Good morning, Zuko." Katara's voice swam into his fuzzy brain. He shook the cobwebs away and looked around, soon getting the answer to his question.

"Welcome to the Lingerie and Underwear Section, Prince Zuzu." Katara said warmly.

Zuko stared around at the racks and racks of bras.

"Um… why did you bring me here?"

"So you can help me pick some stuff out, duh!" Katara laughed and dug her nails into his shoulder.

Seconds later, the lingerie section was on fire.

Zuko expertly maneuvered out of the burning section and Katara ran away screaming.

"Hahaha… good thing I picked up a couple essentials for Mai on the way out…" Zuko patted his pockets lovingly.

* * *

Bryan and Mike were calmly driving back to Wal-Mart in their minivan.

"Okay, did you give the earth codenames to everyone in the trailers?" Mike asked Bryan.

"Yeah."

"Were they practicing their lines like good little Avatar characters?"

"Most of them. If they weren't, they are now."

"Good." Mike replied, happy.

"So… do you have the list of the other codenames?"

"Yeah, I'll tell them on the ride home."

"Let's hear them."

"Okay…" Mike said, pulling out the scrap of paper. "Aang is Stanley."

Bryan laughed. "Simple enough."

"Katara – Katie. Toph – Tina. Sokka – Sam. Zuko – Zack." He read.

"Sounds normal enough. I hope they picked out good clothes…"

"Me too…"

* * *

The five characters strutted out of Wal-Mart, ignoring the fifty thousand screaming firefighters that were now surrounding the premises.

"THERE IS WAY TOO MANY OF US HERE! WHAT ARE WE DOING?" They were shouting. "WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO SEND FIFTY THOUSAND OF US HERE?"

Aang, having gotten over the initial humiliation, brought out some of his famous Avatar confidence and smiled halfheartedly as he walked in the group. He was wearing a wig braided into two pigtails, pink ribbons tied around the ends. Purple Mary Janes and frilly socks were on his feet and he wore tiny embellished jean shorts and a Dora the Explorer tee shirt.

The name Stanley was really going to work.

Katara was hobbling along in three inch heels, wearing her miniskirt and a super tight tube top, flipped her hair over her shoulder and adjusted the sparkly bag on her hip. She winked to a boy in the crowd of evacuees, who turned around and screamed.

Toph, starting to get used to the cane, followed behind Katara, sporting a softball tee shirt and a headband. She wore sweatpants and sneakers.

Sokka smoothed his shirt and thought of Suki as he walked along, outfitted in aviator sunglasses, skater shoes with the tongues pulled up to the cuffs of his pants, which were sagged, showing his plaid boxers underneath. His shirt was bright red with skateboarding brands etched into the front.

Zuko was brooding silently to himself. He put his hands in the pockets of his gray jacket, which was tight around his torso, and adorned with black stripes. Underneath, he wore a solid black tee shirt. His tight pants were laced with silver chains and he wore a skull necklace around his neck. His combat boots made loud heavy noises as he shuffled along. Many girls outside the store were sighing dreamily.

He's so cute.

* * *

Bryan and Mike, pulled into the parking lot, staring in awe at Wal-Mart, which was swarmed by an unnecessary amount of firefighters as it burned to the ground.

Mouths hanging open, they ushered the characters wordlessly into the van.

"Dude… the place is destroyed!" Bryan exclaimed finally, sounding desolate.

"Well, if we leave now… maybe no one will know it's our fault…"

"Good idea, Mike."

"No problem." They hopped back in the van, sighing heavily.

"Oh and Bryan?"

"Yes?"

"Told you so."

"Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

* * *

Thanks for reading, and let us know what you thought of it, please! Unless you are about to flame, because we only like flames from true firebenders. Unfortunately that's not you.

:)


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